Chapter 32

 In the end, Yu Luoyin didn't have the good fortune to eat the dishes personally made by Ji Huiying. Despite the bountiful meal, he didn't have the face to stay.

After seeing those few pieces of packaging paper, his appetite vanished, and he only wanted to leave quickly and find a quiet place to sort out his already chaotic emotions. In the end, he almost 'fled in defeat.'

"I'm sorry, Auntie, I suddenly..." Yu Luoyin's thin lips were slightly pale as he forced a smile and said, "I suddenly feel a bit unwell. I need to go home first."

"Why did your face suddenly turn so pale?" Ji Huiying, noticing Yu Luoyin's sudden pallor, walked over in concern and asked, "Did you catch a chill because you're dressed too lightly?"

"It's nothing." Yu Luoyin shook his head. "I'll be fine after some sleep."

"I see. Then we'll invite you for a meal another time. Thank you for today." Ji Huiying said with a bit of regret, about to call Bai Xunyin to see him off: "Xinyin..."

"No." Yu Luoyin quickly interrupted her, "Auntie, there's no need to call Bai Xunyin. She might be doing her homework."

Ji Huiying instinctively held back her words.

"No need to see me off. We'll see each other at school tomorrow anyway." Yu Luoyin barely managed to find some 'smart' rationality, smiling with impeccable politeness, "Goodbye, Auntie."

"Alright then." Ji Huiying had no choice but to open the door for him.

"Oh, Auntie." Yu Luoyin paused, his eyes unconsciously drifting towards the waste paper bin. He found an excuse, "Let me take the trash out for you."

Ji Huiying was taken aback and hesitated, "This is the seventh floor, it's too high for you to..."

"It's okay." Yu Luoyin smiled, insisting, "I have the strength. Let me help you."

Even though they hadn't spent much time together, Ji Huiying thought that Yu Luoyin was a 'helpful' kid based on his demeanor—like one of those boys who feel uncomfortable if they don't help others with something. So, she didn't insist and handed him the waste paper bin.

"Thank you."

"It's no trouble." Yu Luoyin shook his head, behaving very obediently, "Goodbye, Auntie."

Only after leaving Bai Xunyin's house, exiting the building, and leaving the neighborhood, did the 'calm and collected' mask on Yu Luoyin's face slowly crack. He slowly exhaled a breath that had been pent up in his chest for a long time.

He felt suffocated.

Yu Luoyin didn't let the waste paper bin in his arms end up in the trash; instead, he carried it all the way 'home'—not the standalone house he lived in with Yu Yuan and Gu Yuan, but the place he rented near Third High School.

The arm wrapped in bandages initially hurt in the biting cold wind, but later it became completely numb.

When he returned, he found the house brightly lit. Zhou Xinsui had come over to crash again, munching on instant noodles like they were chips while working on a practice book in the living room.

Hearing the door open, Zhou Xinsui, without looking up or opening his eyes, said to Yu Luoyin, "The relatives are visiting at home, it's noisy, so I came here to hide."

Zhou Xinsui liked peace and quiet and often came over. Yu Luoyin was used to it and didn't bother to respond, carrying the broken box with a blank expression and walking in, his face devoid of emotion.

He placed the box on the table and stared blankly at the colorful mess inside.

When Zhou Xinsui got up to throw out the trash and passed by, he was surprised to see Yu Luoyin's 'lost' look and raised an eyebrow. He walked over and glanced at the things Yu Luoyin had brought back—

"Yu Luoyin." Zhou Xinsui sipped water from a cup and unceremoniously mocked, "Did you go scavenging?"

He found it both amusing and perplexing, picking up a piece of the packaging paper with his long fingers, wondering what kind of rubbish it was.

Honestly, even if people wanted to wrap boxes to give as gifts these days, they wouldn't choose such packaging paper.

"Put it down." Yu Luoyin said coldly, knocking Zhou Xinsui's hand away and snatching back the packaging paper. Then he took the box back to his room as if it were a treasure.

Zhou Xinsui: "Are you out of your mind?"

"Ah Sui." Yu Luoyin took a bottle of cold water from the fridge and drank most of it, feeling his brain and limbs clear from the chill before he sat down on the sofa. His eyes empty, he stared at his fingers and spoke as if to the air, "Bai Xunyin and I had a falling out. We broke up."

Zhou Xinsui's hand paused while doing practice problems. He turned to look at Yu Luoyin, who resembled a wilted eggplant, and after a moment's hesitation, bluntly said, "We all knew."

...

"You two have been ignoring each other for days, and Bai Xunyin looks at you like you're a class enemy." Zhou Xinsui candidly 'hit him where it hurt,' "Who wouldn't notice?"

Yu Luoyin had been too troubled these past few days to notice the people around him.

Hearing this, he was taken aback for a moment, then gave a somewhat self-deprecating smile. He slowly said, "So you all knew."

How foolish he had been.

"But why do you look so lost now? Can't let go of Bai Xunyin?" Zhou Xinsui laughed. "Didn't you say you were just playing with her for a bet?"

Hearing Zhou Xinsui repeat his past reckless words, Yu Luoyin couldn't help feeling a bit dazed.

"And now..." Zhou Xinsui looked at his expression and couldn't help but laugh. "Are you regretting it? Did you fall for her?"

Yu Luoyin leaned casually against the soft back of the sofa, though his spine was tense. He asked softly, "Is that not allowed?"

"It's not that it's not allowed, it's just that you deserve it." Zhou Xinsui shrugged. "But it's not surprising; Bai Xunyin is quite an attractive girl."

Zhou Xinsui rarely 'praised' anyone. Hearing his words, Yu Luoyin's dark eyes suddenly became a bit dangerous.

He stared at Zhou Xinsui intently. "Do you like her?"

"Idiot." Zhou Xinsui laughed, giving him a mocking look. "I like older sisters."

He had a unique taste and didn't fancy 'younger sister types.'

Only then did Yu Luoyin recall that this guy studied so hard because of some 'unspeakable' reasons, desperately wanting to get into the same university as his family's 'older sister'... and he was slightly reassured.

When you like someone and treasure them, it always feels like the whole world is filled with 'rivals' coveting them, driving you crazy.

"I do like her, and I regret it." Yu Luoyin admitted readily. He looked up at the ceiling, the lines from his jaw to his neck sharp and clean. He murmured as if talking to himself, "I did something wrong."

When he saw the packaging paper in the waste paper bin at Bai Xunyin's house, Yu Luoyin realized just how thoroughly wrong he had been.

Bai Xunyin was willing to keep those worthless pieces of plastic but wouldn't accept the limited edition Tiffany bracelet he had given her.

And he had thought she was just being childish, thinking his talk about the bet didn't matter, thinking he could win her back with money, some sweet talk, and a bit of wheedling...

Yu Luoyin, you're such an asshole, he thought, smiling bitterly and feeling a bit despondent.

"If you know you regret it, go apologize and ask for forgiveness. What's the point of moping around?" Zhou Xinsui said without lifting his head from his practice book, adding fuel to the fire. "You brought this on yourself; you deserve it."

Yu Luoyin was silent for a moment, then shook his head—he now truly realized that Bai Xunyin wouldn't easily forgive him; apologies wouldn't work.

"Yu, sighing here won't solve anything." Zhou Xinsui raised an eyebrow, twirling his pen with long fingers. "If it were me, I'd do everything to win her back."

Apologize, sweet talk, whatever might work, just do it.

But what Zhou Xinsui didn't know was that Yu Luoyin had already tried all these methods, to no avail.

Bai Xunyin wasn't the kind of girl who could be coaxed back with a simple apology and some sweet words. To touch her heart... he might have to understand what she had been through and what moved her.

Seeing Bai Xunyin's living environment today, the cramped house, her father lying in the hospital, and her own self-consciousness about being mute...

Yu Luoyin began to vaguely understand why Bai Xunyin was so sensitive about the word 'bet.'

This girl hadn't grown up in a happy family; 'trauma' was a deeper wound for her.

But how could he learn about Bai Xunyin's experiences and what she had gone through?

Only now did Yu Luoyin realize how little he knew about the girl. When they were together, he only enjoyed her care and never tried to understand her deeply.

When they were together, Bai Xunyin always seemed happy, never showing any sorrow, and he believed it.

Yu Luoyin thought that young love was just 'playing around,' and he was used to not getting too deep into anyone, nor did he want anyone to get too deep into him—he was used to keeping a 'polite distance' from everyone.

But now, when he needed to understand someone, he realized how cold this habit was.

Yu Luoyin thought aimlessly, his fingers unconsciously rubbing together, feeling irritated and craving a cigarette.

But he had quit for a few days, and his pockets were empty, feeling lonely.

His clear, long eyebrows furrowed subconsciously, and he decided to go straight to bed—sleeping would mean not having to think about anything for a while.

But just as he stood up, a name flashed through his mind like lightning, and Yu Luoyin paused, his eyes suddenly lighting up.

The next day, when Bai Xunyin wasn't paying attention, Yu Luoyin cornered Ning Shumo against the wall.

"Hey, hey, hey." Mo suddenly felt a shadow fall over her, and when she looked up, she saw Yu Luoyin's 'Sima face,' startling her into taking a step back and crossing her arms defensively. "What are you blocking me for? What's up?"

"I need something." Since falling out with Bai Xunyin, Yu Luoyin had gotten used to Mo's hostile and sarcastic tone. He politely asked, "I want to ask you a few things about Bai Xunyin."

Hearing 'Bai Xunyin,' Mo's face darkened, anger surging uncontrollably.

"Get lost." Mo sneered coldly. "Don't ask me anything. You're not worthy of even mentioning Yinyin's name."

"Think of me as shameless." Yu Luoyin smiled bitterly, completely discarding the pride he usually valued so highly. "I know I'm not worthy, but I still want to ask."

Mo was taken aback.

"Can you tell me what happened to her... why she can't speak?" Yu Luoyin paused, struggling to ask.

Mo's face turned cold, and she forcefully brushed away his hand against the wall.

"Yu Luoyin, you're not worthy. Why do you want to know about Yinyin? To pretend to be a romantic hero or to continue playing with her?" Mo sneered, her voice rapid—

"I really don't understand what Yinyin did to deserve this from you. Do you have a grudge against a girl? It's despicable!"

"Not everyone can meticulously pursue someone for a bet, deliberately make them fall and then kick them away. You really are cunning."

"Yinyin has never dated anyone before. She was bullied in high school for being mute, and she doesn't trust her classmates. She's always lived a suppressed life. Do you even know any of this?"

"You have no idea how much courage it took for her to accept you. And you say it was all for a bet! You gave her a beautiful illusion only to cruelly shatter it and force her to wake up. Yu Luoyin, have you ever tried to understand her?"

"You never thought about it, otherwise, you wouldn't have approached her because of a ridiculous bet!"

"You don't deserve to be near Yinyin. Stay away from her!"

...

These words had been pent up in Mo's heart ever since she heard Yu Luoyin mention that damn 'bet' behind the school building that day.

She had always wanted to say it but never had the chance.

Now, finally, Yu Luoyin had given her the perfect opportunity to scold him, and Amo didn’t hold back.

However, in the end, she only hurt herself. Her pale face flushed red, and not wanting to embarrass herself, she forcefully wiped her eyes and glared at Yu Luoyin before turning and running away.

Amo ran all the way back to the classroom, her teeth and hands shaking with anger, sitting at her desk unable to calm down, like a young Parkinson's patient.

Bai Xun Yin glanced at her and wrote on paper, puzzled:

[What happened?]

Amo lowered her voice and snarled in her ear, “Yu Luoyin, that bastard, came to me just now.”

Bai Xun Yin was stunned.

“He was asking about you, clearly still up to no good.” Amo snorted, proud of herself, “Don’t worry, dear, I scolded him good.”

It felt so satisfying to vent her pent-up anger!

Amo’s emotions were more intense than Bai Xun Yin’s. She was even more upset on her behalf—Bai Xun Yin had opened her heart and had her first love with such a jerk, and just thinking about it made Amo furious.

If it weren’t for the upcoming class, she could have scolded Yu Luoyin for another hour!

Seeing Amo’s indignant expression, Bai Xun Yin couldn’t help but smile a little.

No matter when, having a friend who wholeheartedly stands by you is truly touching. She wrote on the paper:

[Amo, thank you.]

But now, she didn’t care what Yu Luoyin did.

With only four months left until the college entrance exam, she had no time to worry about what Yu Luoyin wanted.

A high school senior’s only focus should be the college entrance exam.

It’s almost the most important exam of one’s life.

*

Perhaps because Amo had supposedly ‘scolded Yu Luoyin thoroughly,’ Bai Xun Yin had a rather peaceful week.

Yu Luoyin finally stopped pestering her endlessly. Even though he sat behind her, he remained quiet, often just staring at her slender, straight back in a daze.

He had somehow lost a lot of weight, and compared to his previous persistence, he now seemed more ‘melancholic.’

His lack of interest worried his friends. Li Yuan and Lu Ye, who were caught between two worlds, frequently came over to Class One, sighing as they looked at Yu Luoyin sitting by the window—as if they were looking at a terminally ill patient.

“Yu bro, it’s just a breakup, right? We’ve all been through breakups.” Li Yuan, boasting, patted his shoulder in ‘comfort,’ “The next one will be better.”

Yu Luoyin expressionlessly lifted his eyelids, giving him a look of pity for a fool.

“Yu bro, I heard Bai Xun Yin broke up because… of that bet?” Lu Ye, who had also been involved in the bet and had chased after Bai Xun Yin, asked hesitantly, feeling a bit guilty, “Should I go apologize?”

...

Yu Luoyin didn’t respond, just coldly curled his lips.

He thought: What’s the use of apologizing? Bai Xun Yin wouldn’t forgive him, let alone bother with Lu Ye.

Watching Yu Luoyin’s moody expression, Li Yuan and Lu Ye exchanged glances, feeling that he was brewing an inexplicable storm, terrifying them.

Silently, they slipped away.

With no annoying chatter around him, Yu Luoyin’s gaze fell back on the empty desk in front of him—Bai Xun Yin had gone out during the break, but he still felt empty if he didn’t watch her.

Yu Luoyin couldn’t help but pinch his brow lightly.

For a week, the words Ning Shu Mo had said echoed in his mind like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode and unsettle him at any moment.

He even felt he was covered in thorns and filth, unworthy of approaching Bai Xun Yin.

Amo’s words made it impossible for him to shamelessly persist.

There is such a thing as karma. A month ago, he found joy in controlling Bai Xun Yin at his whim. Now, it felt like walking on thin ice with every step he took towards her.

‘You don’t know how much she struggled and decided to accept you!’

These words left the deepest impression on him, making Yu Luoyin feel like his heart was gripped tightly every time he remembered them. Why did Bai Xun Yin need to do so much psychological preparation just to date him?

Why?

He desperately wanted to know why this girl had built such impenetrable walls around herself.

Yu Luoyin had once spent months breaking down her defenses, only to shatter everything before he could grasp it.

He really didn’t want to give up like this.

The phone placed in the desk drawer suddenly buzzed restlessly.

Yu Luoyin glanced down and furrowed his brows slightly as he answered, "Hello?"

"Mr. Yu, the investigation you asked me to conduct a few days ago is almost complete." A deep, respectful male voice came from the other end. "When can I deliver the results to you? Do you have time to meet tonight?"

Yu Luoyin unconsciously tapped the desktop with his slender fingertips, his eyes sweeping over the classroom's glass window to see Bai Xun Yin returning. He murmured, "Hmm," lowered his voice, and quickly replied on the phone, "I'll come to see you tonight," before hanging up.

Watching Bai Xun Yin return to her seat, Yu Luoyin lowered his gaze slightly, his fair, bony fingers curling unconsciously.

Deep down, he knew he was despicable, a scoundrel... But being cunning had become a habit, and he couldn't resist doing such despicable things.

The bell rang, and Yu Shen entered the classroom carrying a stack of lesson plans. Standing at the podium, he looked down at the buzzing flies below, picked up the teaching baton, and tapped on the blackboard.

"Quiet down. The results of last week's mock exams are out."

During school days, "school's out" and "exam results are out" were two magic phrases that could instantly quiet down any chaotic classroom.

However, Yu Shen quickly added, calmly, "Check the main bulletin board in the corridor after class."

Then, without wasting a minute, he began his lesson calmly amidst the students' silent disdainful glances.

As soon as class ended, all the students rushed towards the main bulletin board in the corridor, overcrowding the area in an instant.

Bai Xun Yin lazily declined to join the crowd and jostle for a view. She thought it better to wait for the rush to subside in five minutes, ignoring Amo's impatience, and continued to work on her desk calmly.

It seemed... she always knew the right time to do the right thing, always maintaining such a calm demeanor.

Yu Luoyin didn't go to look either. Instead, he sat at his desk, watching Bai Xun Yin's figure, lost in his own thoughts.

The students cleared out of the classroom quickly, leaving just the two of them behind in no time.

When Bai Xun Yin finished a problem and looked up to survey her surroundings, she subconsciously prepared to leave. But it was too late; the tall, slender boy intercepted her a few steps away.

He dared to be so shameless only because no one was around.

Bai Xun Yin's first reaction was to step back, her eyes as sharp as glass, wary as she looked at him, filled with vigilance.

"I just want to say something to you," Yu Luoyin couldn't help but smile bitterly as he saw her instinctive reaction, "You don't have to be afraid."

Bai Xun Yin furrowed her brows slightly.

Yu Luoyin could see what she meant in her eyes—she wasn't afraid of him; she was disgusted by him.

It was like seeing a fly or a rogue, that visceral recoil, that disgust.

His fingers hanging at his side unconsciously clenched into a fist as he looked at her steadily, his voice so soft it was almost a murmur, "Bai Xun Yin... tell me, what else can I do?"

What can he do to make her dislike him less?

Yu Luoyin felt he was utterly ridiculous, more so than the villains in movies—taking things for granted when they have them, regretting only when they lose them.

He found himself absurd, hoping that Bai Xun Yin would ‘pity’ him.

The classroom was silent, and Yu Luoyin hadn't expected Bai Xun Yin to respond to him. Unexpectedly, after looking at him for a few seconds, Bai Xun Yin bent down and wrote a line on paper: [Go watch a movie.]

A movie?

Yu Luoyin looked at her with surprise.

Bai Xun Yin wrote down the name of the movie: [She Doesn't Actually Like You That Much.]

The girl's clear and neat handwriting was like a scythe, making Yu Luoyin's bones turn pale.

He understood what Bai Xun Yin meant—

By changing 'him' to 'her,' she was telling him that she didn't actually like him that much, so he shouldn't indulge in self-love and continue to rack his brains trying to salvage something. Missing it is just missing it.

But...

Yu Luoyin forced a smile and said, "You could watch another movie."

A hint of confusion flickered in Bai Xun Yin's eyes.

So Yu Luoyin said the name of a movie he had just made up, as if he were spitting out heartfelt blood, "Actually, He Doesn't Dislike You."

Bai Xun Yin had told herself that she didn't like him as much as she thought she did, true or false, Yu Luoyin accepted it.

But he also had to tell Bai Xun Yin that he hadn't been entirely insincere before... because Bai Xun Yin would definitely misunderstand him.

"Yinyin," Yu Luoyin stared at the stunned girl and didn't let go, his voice low, like a murmur of pleading, "Can I chase you again?"

Anyway, he wanted to try again.

...............................................................................................................

Previous                                                                                          Next