Chapter 34

 Bai Xunyin received Yu Luoyin's message on her way home.

Sanzhong ended school early today. In the afternoon, she and Amo went to a university cram school for a math class. After class, Amo said he'd come over to her place for dinner, and Bai Xunyin smiled and agreed.

However, Yu Luoyin's message ruined her good mood. When she saw his words "I'm downstairs at your place," Bai Xunyin furrowed her brow and instinctively paused.

"Hmm?" Amo, sucking on a lollipop beside her, didn't understand and asked vaguely, "Why aren't we walking?"

Bai Xunyin remained silent for a moment, typing to Amo: [Let's take a detour and enter through the back gate of the neighborhood.]

Regardless of why Yu Luoyin had come to find her or what he intended to do, she didn't want to see him.

Every time she saw him, Bai Xunyin felt as though her heart, once thought to be frozen solid, had been cracked open a bit—neither painful nor light, but always there.

In reality, she wasn't as indifferent as she appeared on the surface, so it was better not to see him at all.

Encountering him at school was unavoidable, but privately... Bai Xunyin really didn't want any interaction with Yu Luoyin.

Amo had no objections and obediently followed Bai Xunyin around the back gate to go home.

During the lively process of making dumplings, suddenly, she thought of the message Yu Luoyin had just sent.

Due to the winter kitchen window's frosted layer from the steaming heat, she couldn't see clearly outside except for the bottommost layer saying "escaped a calamity," which was clean and clear.

Unluckily, through this narrow layer, Bai Xunyin's eyes caught sight of the familiar and slender figure downstairs.

They lived on the seventh floor, theoretically unable to capture someone's figure so accurately—yet, due to the desolate afternoon in Ajun Alley and the narrow passage downstairs.

In one glance, she even discerned Yu Luoyin's school uniform clearly.

The message had been sent 45 minutes ago, meaning he had been standing downstairs at their place for at least 45 minutes.

Bai Xunyin pursed her lips and withdrew her gaze, continuing to focus on making dumpling wrappers without distraction. She thought to herself, It's freezing cold today; Yu Luoyin must be quite foolish.

However, during the subsequent process of making and cooking dumplings, she couldn't help but feel distracted.

While eating, Amo, lively beside her, praised Jihui Ying's superb dumpling-making skills. Bai Xunyin looked at the half-eaten dumpling on her plate, chewing without tasting.

It felt as if everything she swallowed was choking her throat.

After a while, she stood up again and walked to the window—Yu Luoyin was still standing downstairs, now for half an hour longer, looking less resolute than before, leaning against a tree with his hands tucked in his sleeves.

Bai Xunyin suddenly realized once again how much she truly disliked Yu Luoyin.

She just wanted to stay away from him; she didn't want to witness firsthand this kind of behavior from him, purely to torment himself.

What's the difference between this and self-harm? Wasn't it deliberate to make her uneasy?

She might as well have ignored that message from the beginning.

With her eyes in a muted shade, Bai Xunyin pulled the curtain shut and promptly added Yu Luoyin's phone number to her blacklist.

After finishing dinner, she returned to her room without looking out the window again, unaware that Yu Luoyin had waited for a full three hours that day.

Only when the sky had completely darkened, dotted with twinkling stars, did he finally confirm that Bai Xunyin truly wouldn't come down.

Yu Luoyin sighed softly, rubbing his stiffened hands in embarrassment.

The girl was truly ruthless.

Yet, now he could understand all of Bai Xunyin's "ruthlessness"—because when he uttered those two words of the bet, he was even more ruthless than her, considering it all as redemption.

The next day, Yu Luoyin shamelessly continued to pester her.

During lunch in the cafeteria, Bai Xunyin had just found a place to sit down with her tray when someone sat down right beside her.

Somewhat surprised, she turned her head and saw the clear and smiling features of a young porcelain-faced boy.

Ignoring the sparse crowd in the cafeteria, Yu Luoyin shamelessly said, "Classmate, no seats left. Mind sharing a table?"

...

"Well, since you don't mind," Yu Luoyin raised an eyebrow, propping his head on his hand as he smiled at her.

Bai Xunyin furrowed her eyebrows slightly, her initial reaction being to stand up and find another seat.

"Don't bother." Before she could react, Yu Luoyin seemed to understand what she was thinking and said calmly, "Anyway, if you move to another seat, I'll follow."

As he spoke, he took a glass bottle of milk from the oversized pocket of his school uniform and pushed it towards Bai Xunyin's tray with a straw inside.

His intentions were clear.

Bai Xunyin couldn't help but feel a bit nostalgic for Amo—unfortunately, today she went to the tutorial class with Sheng Wen instead of coming to the cafeteria with her.

She looked at Yu Luoyin somewhat helplessly, her eyes asking: What exactly do you want to do?

"I really don't want to do anything," Yu Luoyin murmured softly, his long, narrow black eyes innocent and vulnerable, blinking. "I just want to have lunch with you."

Bai Xunyin frowned, stood up decisively, and walked away from the cafeteria.

The worst-case scenario was simply missing this lunch, nothing more.

But having lunch with someone she didn't want to see would upset her stomach.

Yu Luoyin's gaze shifted from the girl's slender back to the untouched food on her tray, sighing softly.

In an instant, he felt a sense of powerlessness he had never experienced in his eighteen years— he really didn't know how to pursue Bai Xunyin anymore.

Apart from being able to irritate Bai Xunyin, Yu Luoyin had no other way.

But he still wanted to do this, reflecting on what Lu Ying said to him yesterday. Yu Luoyin truly wanted to give Bai Xunyin the legendary 'meticulous care'.

Bai Xunyin decisively abandoned the cafeteria lunch, returning to the classroom and texting Amo to bring back some food.

When Amo returned, Bai Xunyin was munching on a meat floss bun with plain water. To save time, she ate somewhat uncouthly, almost wolfing it down.

Amo sat on the nearby chair, hands under her chin, her big eyes blinking in confusion. "Sweetie, didn't you eat lunch? Didn't you go to the cafeteria at noon?"

Bai Xunyin waved her hand, clearly indicating she didn't want her to bring it up again.

She finished the bun in three bites, feeling a bit choked in her throat.

This couldn't compare to a proper meal, but at least she was full.

However, 'snacks' could never substitute for a proper lunch. If she didn't eat well at noon, she'd feel physically exhausted during the high-intensity afternoon study sessions, causing her eyes to blur until the break time between afternoon classes and evening self-study. Bai Xunyin felt her eyes were fuzzy throughout.

She just hoped Yu Luoyin wouldn't continue to upset her appetite tomorrow.

But Yu Luoyin seemed to be possessed, once again sticking to her— and more fervently than when they first met Bai Xunyin.

It seemed as if he was going to put his previous words into action, really wanting to 'chase her again'.

Bai Xunyin tried to avoid it by not letting Amo go find Sheng Wen, dragging her to the cafeteria for lunch every day.

But even so, Yu Luoyin couldn't be stopped. His thick skin was like a city wall. Despite Amo's sarcastic remarks at lunchtime, he could still calmly eat, self-satisfied.

Not only did he stick to her shamelessly in the cafeteria, but he also brought her food before evening self-study, following her home after school on his bike...

Yu Luoyin drove her almost crazy.

Because no matter how determined she was on paper, Yu Luoyin remained unmoved. He just silently followed her, sometimes seeming like a silent and invisible guardian.

Even when Bai Xunyin was tough, Yu Luoyin just smiled. His previous sweet words and coaxing were as if they had disappeared, simply...

Simply like becoming a mute person.

A 'mute' Yu Luoyin clung to her, silent all the way, making Bai Xunyin feel as if she were punching cotton when trying to communicate with him, almost itching to scratch.

"No, what's Yu Luoyin up to lately?"

A week later, even Amo couldn't stand Yu Luoyin's oppressive 'silent guardianship' style anymore. The abrupt change made her scalp tingle, unable to help but quietly ask Bai Xunyin, "Is he chasing you now? He doesn't even fart out a day, just follows you around, which looks creepy."

Creepy... Who said it wasn't?

Bai Xunyin's carbon pencil tip paused on the paper, leaving behind a long black mark unconsciously. She sighed lightly.

Yu Luoyin was completely abnormal now, constantly teetering on the boundary of harassing her, tightening Bai Xunyin's nerves unconsciously. It was really tiring.

She would rather Yu Luoyin be like he was before, reckless and rascal-like, than this unsettling smoothness.

People are afraid of getting used to two words.

Bai Xunyin was afraid that if Yu Luoyin persisted like this, she would get used to his shameless following in the cafeteria, teaching building, and riding the dark road home after school...

She was really afraid of falling into it again.

But Bai Xunyin always remembered the story Yu Luoyin told her about that big yellow dog and reminded herself to review it— only dogs remember to eat without remembering to be beaten. She couldn't be an ignorant dog again.

*

During the afternoon study class, Yu Luoyin was summoned to the office by Yu Shen.

Leaning against the wall, the young man took a sip of tea, swallowed it down, and knocked on the stack of documents on the table. "Recently, the class conducted a voluntary survey. You indicated Lan University."

"Yeah." As soon as Yu Luoyin heard that it was about university preferences, he breathed a sigh of relief. He shrugged, saying matter-of-factly, "Lan University ranks in the top ten nationwide and is local. What's the problem?"

"No problem, just..." Yu Shen seemed to deliberately drag it out, smiling slowly. "Just that Lan University has a guaranteed admission quota for our school this year."

Yu Luoyin was taken aback.

"What do you think?" Yu Shen looked at him, his tone suggesting something profound. "Interested?"

Getting guaranteed admission was certainly a good thing, but only one guaranteed admission spot...

Yu Luoyin was silent for a moment before asking, "Teacher, may I ask if this guaranteed admission is related to... my mom?"

"Silly boy, you're so lacking in confidence in yourself?" Yu Shen laughed helplessly, throwing a piece of paper onto him. "In this first mock exam, you were second in the whole school. The first one's intended major isn't Lan University. If this spot isn't for you, then who is it for?"

Yu Luoyin picked up the paper thrown at him and glanced at it, his gaze involuntarily falling on the name 'Bai Xunyin,' ranked fifth.

He didn't know which university this stubborn girl wanted to apply to.

In an instant, Yu Luoyin wanted to inquire.

"Teacher." Yu Luoyin interrupted him. A gentle smile graced his handsome face as he politely shook his head and declined, "I don't want this guaranteed admission slot."

Yu Shen was stunned, his voice almost breaking, "Why?"

Yu Luoyin pondered for a moment, "I can get into Lan University on my own."

"It's not that. There's a guaranteed admission slot now..." Yu Shen felt like he couldn't understand the leaps in logic of young people nowadays. He scoffed in disbelief, "Filling out the form means you're already a student at Lan University. Why do you insist on taking the exam yourself?"

"I just want to," Yu Luoyin replied nonchalantly. "You can give the slot to another student."

Yu Shen was infuriated, completely unable to grasp what Yu Luoyin was up to.

He snapped impatiently, "The third person wants to study out of the province and isn't considering Lan University. If there are other guaranteed slots, they will naturally be considered—why are you worrying about others, not Yu Luoyin?!"

Yu Luoyin rolled his eyes, "And what about the fourth?"

"Same as the third!" Yu Shen replied.

After some circumlocution, Yu Luoyin finally managed to ask what he wanted, "And the fifth?"

"The fifth? Bai Xunyin?" Yu Shen frowned and glanced at the list irritably, "She's a student with disabilities and isn't within the scope of guaranteed admission."

Yu Luoyin felt a jolt in his heart. "Teacher, does our school discriminate?"

It made him want to slam the table.

"What discrimination? Every school has its own rules. Why do you care?" Yu Shen slammed the table. "You should be concerned about your own guaranteed admission!"

"No, teacher, I really need to discuss this with you," Yu Luoyin crossed his arms, emboldened by his usual defiance in front of the teacher. He criticized without restraint, "Are mute students not allowed to pursue higher education? Why can't they have a guaranteed admission? This is discrimination, and I must protest."

"What's the use of protesting? I didn't make these rules!" Yu Shen was taken aback, hesitating before saying, "Furthermore, even without this rule, Bai Xunyin isn't interested in Lan University. She's aiming for a northern engineering university!"

...

The north? The distant north?

Yu Luoyin was taken aback.

He cunningly found out Bai Xunyin's aspirations from Yu Shen's hints, but when he truly heard it, his heart sank emptily.

Because Yu Luoyin never expected that Bai Xunyin actually wanted to go so far—way up north.

Leaving the head teacher's office in near confusion, Yu Luoyin ultimately didn't accept the guaranteed admission slot.

When he returned to the classroom, the dismissal bell rang. Yu Luoyin saw Bai Xunyin sitting calmly in her place amidst the bustling students—her back straight, delicate neck slightly bowed, quietly engrossed in her book, resembling a gentle and graceful painting.

However, it made him want to "disturb" her.

Yu Luoyin's jaw tightened slightly, hesitating but unable to resist, he quickly walked over and grabbed her wrist as she held the pen.

Bai Xunyin looked up at him, somewhat surprised.

"Come out with me for a moment," Yu Luoyin gently but firmly led her away, his voice soft and urgent, "I need to ask you something."

He pulled her outside the classroom. Amidst the coming and going, as long as Amo wasn't around, no one would sensibly notice this small corner between them.

Walking straight to the safe passage they had frequented countless times before but hadn't visited in a long while, Yu Luoyin finally released her.

Bai Xunyin subconsciously stepped back, her slender back pressed tightly against the large metal door of the safe passage.

"Don't be afraid, I..." Yu Luoyin looked at her guarded expression and felt a pang in his heart, feeling hurt and embarrassed. He forced a self-deprecating smile, "I won't touch you, I just want to ask you a few questions."

Bai Xunyin silently looked at him.

Under her calm and clear gaze, Yu Luoyin asked steadily, "Do you want to go to the Northern Engineering University?"

Bai Xunyin didn't expect Yu Luoyin to drag her here just to ask this. She was momentarily taken aback.

But as she processed it, she couldn't help but smile.

Yu Luoyin looked at her smile, feeling inexplicably heavy-hearted, "What's so funny?"

\[Yes.\] Bai Xunyin continued to smile, typing her response, \[I have that thought.\]

"Why?" Yu Luoyin's voice was hoarse, hesitating and struggling, "The north... it's so far. Isn't Lan University good enough?"

\[Not good enough.\] Bai Xunyin shook her head, her delicate fingertips tapping out each word with certainty, \[Because you once said you wanted to go to Lan University.\]

During their sweetest times together, they had discussed which university to attend in the future.

At that time, Yu Luoyin had said he wanted to stay at Lin Lan because it was excellent. She had remained silent—because Bai Xunyin had always wanted to see the north.

Her thoughts had never changed, but back then... in fact, Yu Luoyin's words "Let's go to the same university" had shaken her.

At that time, Bai Xunyin thought attending the same university as Yu Luoyin, spending every day together, was more moving than any "ambition." But now things were different.

She wanted to go north, to the school she wanted.

At the same time, she knew Yu Luoyin wouldn't go north; he had always been someone with his own convictions.

[Yu Luoyin, we'll eventually part ways, probably never to meet again after the college entrance examination.] 

Bai Xunyin withdrew her gaze, continuing to type calmly and objectively—

[I won't accept you, so please stop following me silently, whether it's the things you said before or your silent presence. I don't want them.]

[I just want to prepare for the college entrance examination well and spend the remaining less than one hundred days peacefully at school.]

[If you still feel guilty because of those two words of the bet, please stay away from me as compensation.]

For the first time, Bai Xunyin said so much to Yu Luoyin in one go, leaving almost no room for interruption. Yet her goal was to completely remove him from her world.

Yu Luoyin closed his eyes, unable to utter a word, only able to watch helplessly as the girl's slender figure opened the heavy door of the safe passage with a loud "bang," blocking all his views.

Sometimes, all your efforts seem futile—

—It's only when the person you care about doesn't care about you that you truly understand the self-inflicted pain.

..................................................................................................................

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